I'm single and feel pressure about 'natural lubrication' how can I intro it into my experiences?
CO: Feeling pressure about ‘natural lubrication’ is so common, but let me assure you, it’s nothing to stress about. Arousal doesn’t always equal immediate natural lubrication—factors like stress, hormones, or even where you are in your cycle can impact it. Introducing lubricant can actually enhance your experiences and make them more enjoyable. You could say something like, “I’ve heard lubricant can make everything feel even better, should we give it a try?” It’s practical, adds comfort, and can even be a playful addition. Remember, using lubricant isn’t about replacing anything—it’s about enhancing pleasure for both you and your partner.
How to overcome sexuality shame from the church?
CO: Sexuality and shame shouldn’t go hand in hand, but for many raised in religious environments, they do. The first step in unlearning this is recognising that your sexuality isn’t wrong—it’s something to understand and embrace. Ask yourself: are these feelings yours, or were they taught? Exploring sex-positive resources and working with a therapist can help challenge outdated beliefs. If faith is still important to you, know that many religious communities embrace inclusive perspectives. Healing takes time—be patient with yourself. Every step toward self-acceptance brings you closer to a more fulfilling and shame-free relationship with your sexuality.
Is it normal to occasionally feel burning or discomfort when becoming aroused?
CO: Occasional burning or discomfort during arousal isn’t uncommon, but sex should never be painful. Understanding why it happens is key—it could be due to friction, lack of lubrication, or sensitivity in the vaginal area. Hormonal changes, conditions like vaginismus or vulvodynia, or irritation from certain products can also play a role. If it’s a one-off, it’s usually not a concern, but if it’s persistent or impacts your pleasure, check in with a doctor or pelvic health specialist. Prioritising comfort ensures intimacy remains enjoyable—pain is not something you have to push through, and there are solutions available.
Any tips for self-exploration?
CO: Self-exploration is a beautiful way to deepen your connection with your body and understand what brings you pleasure. Start by creating a relaxed, private space where you feel safe and comfortable. Take your time—explore touch, pressure, and movement across your body to notice what feels good. Using tools like a mirror can help you become more familiar with your anatomy, while lubricant or a toy can add new sensations. Focus on being present and curious, without any pressure to achieve an outcome. Remember, self-exploration isn’t just about physical pleasure—it’s about building self-awareness and embracing your sexual confidence.
